Its no secret that i don't get along well with authority. Ever since i was a youngster, i have been considering ways to extract revenge on the rio lake area.
This has to do with the platoon of rent-a-cops armed w/ flashlights that make it a necessary duty to violate your daily happenings. I don't know where they come from, they pop out like crickets, they could make up a whole cavalry for Mozambique.
DO NOT under any circumstances ride a bicycle on or near the rio lake area. You will be swarmed upon by a small battalion of rent-a-cops like stink on shit. They will then use their holier then you attitude to try and shove a flashlight up your ass.
Summer of 2004: Chris Beach ruined my weeks of preparation in what was supposed to be the "rio reprisal". He agreed to donate his dying stand-up jet-ski in one last "hoorah" around rio lake. Bobby Parks had agreed to drive the jetski donning only a g-string and a Beavis mask. The de-stickered jet ski was to be ditched in the lake while he escaped via a getaway truck sitting on the shoulder of 270. To see this man doing circles around the fountain in a g-string while i sipped on cocktails at the joes crab shack deck; i would of died a happy man. As always, Beach faked and sold the jet ski for more crystal meth. Don't listen to a word this man says, the river float party has made great progress btw.
So 5 years later i have taken it upon myself to extract revenge. Yes i remain bitter. We all know about the humongous fish that reside in rio lake. In large part because fishing is obviously outlawed at the lake. What would happen if one cast a fishing line into the lake?? One may never know because no one has had the balls to do it..until now. The way i see it: You will be immediately converged upon by the legion of flashlight wielding commandos. They will then treat you as what they see you as, which is an AXE MURDERER. They will taze,mace, and pepper spray you and then try and hold you until the real pigs come.
Not so fast my friend. I will not cast a line off of the bridge. I will rent a pedal boat during happy hour and pedal over to the fountain. It is then time to break out my folding fishing pole and vest of lures (see picture). I will obviously catch a trophy fish immediately and hold my prize to the margarita sipping cougars at Uncle Julios. It is not until then that i will be able to rest my grudge with the rio.
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